First of all, it was very cruel of you, Professor Z, to post this knowing how many of us are graduating now. I was forced to look back on all 4 of those years and wonder, where in the balls did they go? It’s going to be hard leaving Temple behind and reading Ben Jones’s list of 50 tips for college was almost too goddamn poignant for me to handle. You could practically taste the nostalgia dripping off this guy’s words and now I have to face the reality that that is going to be me in a few months.
It wasn’t all bad, though. There was a lot to look back on in his post and think, “yeah I nailed that one,” or even just being reminded of which songs connect to each memory from college. “UKNOWBIGSEAN” will forever remind me of “seizing the day” sophomore year with my friend Marcus in The Dungeon (his Temple Towers room), which only meant opening the blinds and rolling another doobie. And I’ll definitely always be reminded of belting out “Last Kiss” on my 21st birthday with my buddy Zack whenever I hear that Eddie Vedder growl.
If I could add just one tip however, and really this is an all-encompassing tip, it would be this: just say yes. If your default answer in college isn’t yes, then you’re going to be missing out on a whole lot of great opportunities and up with a whole lot of what-ifs. So your friend invites you to a party on a Thursday night but you know you won’t know anyone there, plus you’re pretty tired. Just say yes! You’re gaining nothing from staying home, you could be gaining new friends and a hell of a night if you go out. There’s a goofy event at the Bell Tower that you know is going to be lame so you’re searching for some excuse not to go. Just go! At worst it actually is lame, at best you turn out to have a great time. Where’s the risk in that? I could go on with the cliche examples here, but I’m sure the point is taken. So to anyone lucky enough to have another year or three left, get out there and say yes!*
*Note: do not apply this tactic to heroin offers. That shit never ends well.